Today I was at work when I started to get some texts from Travis. They were so unbelievably touching. Together, him and Haley have some of the most tremendous strength that I have ever witnessed. Jake and I have spent alot of time with them at Primary Childrens and there never failing optimism is amazing. I am doing this blog mostly for a journal for myself, so for my memory I am going to post his texts on here. So that whenever I think that I am going through a trial I can read it and know that I will probably never have to go through what they are.
Family, I have to admit as of yesterday I am feeling the challenge of Ari's condition. I thought I was a super hero, numb to the situation. But the endless physical torture that she endures everyday has pierced my heart to a point of almost bitterness towards faith and the Atonement. But I know better than to go there. I do know that what is happening is in God's control, I just don't agree with it. I would rather that she moves on into the next estate as to have to continue enduring such excruciating pain. Pain that a grown man would fear, a pain you would only wish upon an evil enemy. I wonder if this financial challenge and Ari's challenge is for what purpose? I often ponder searching for an answer but find myself confused and question the power of God. But then I step back and realize that these experiences are for my own good and I realize that I have learned so much from them. My relationship with my wife and kids have grown, my gratitude for life and health have increased, my love for family and appreciation for those relationships have deeply awakened a better understanding of God's plan. I then realize that these experiences are a great blessing from God and I feel privileged for the opportunity that he has allowed me to take part of them. I anxiously gather everything I feel like I have learned and with a joyful and grateful attitude I try to go back out there and make the best of the situation, knowing with no doubt that God knows and understands and I find comfort that God is in charge orchestrating such a divine occasion. I then feel embarrassed for doubting the power of God and the Atonement. I then realize my role is simple. Its the basics, have charity, have faith, have a good attitude, continue to learn, continue to be grateful, and most important, endure the trial and never give up hope.
Dad, I really want to thank you for you and all you're doing to help with such a business disaster right now. You're handling matters that make me cringe, I am so grateful for you and you may or may not know how much you're helping me right now.
Mom, thank you for the many endless nights of support and the miles that we physically put in together in the beginning of Ari's journey. And thank you for supporting Dad with the business challenges we have right now.
Donna, thank you so much for taking care of our kids and getting them in school. I wish we would have left them in, but I guess... What do they say about hindsight?
Liz, thank you for the blog, it has allowed a lot of people to remain updated. You not only have kept them updated but with your gift of writing, you've allowed it to be inspirational and entertaining.
Vicki, thank you for your example of positivity and endurance. You've always demonstrated those two attributes our whole lives. (despite your text results.) You've always been an example to me of being positive and never giving up.
Bobbi, thank you for your support, even showing up at the hospital and noone is there.. Lol. Thank you for taking the kids, coming and getting them from Alta emergency room and for caring for them like their own mother.
Jaymi, thank you for the many endless nights at the hospital. For all the many trips you have made to haul kids.
Taylor, thank you for being you. I dont know if you know but Ari's in the hospital. Lol. (When the freak did we get ice cream?) Thank you Taylor for letting me tease and make fun of you!
Brian, thank you for your silent support, when I speak with you I feel such a love and concern not only for Ari, but for me and Haley as well.
Jake, thank you for many endless nights at the hospital. Of so much support sleeping on couches and always physically being here for support.
Amber, thank you for so many dinners you have brought, your food is so good. Your support to Haley has been very helpful. You've always just shown up out of the blue just waiting to see if there is anything you can help with.
Kim, thank you for dressing up Kaylor and sending us pictures of her, she is beautiful.
Lori, thank you so much for all you have done. There is no doubt that if there is anyone that Haley and I can rely on to receive any kind of help from, it would be you. You're so non judgmental and you're endlessly supportive of anything we do, willing to endure with a humble and grateful attitude. I am also grateful for the strength that Haley gets from you.
Haley, I dont have words to express my gratitude for you. Your example of faith and humility are not human. You never give up, you're always grateful. I am so impressed by the way you're in tuned to what Arianna needs medically and emotionally. The way you took charge the other day when Arianna was vomiting and having convulsions. You gave orders to the doctors and it was your motherly intuition that saved Arianna. I find it very important to give gratitude to people and God. I feel like when I recognize my blessings and give thanks for them, for some reason burdens are alleviated.
How inspirational and touching are those words? He shows an unreal amount of Faith and trust in Heavenly Father. I did not grow up in the Church. Of course, I always had family that was LDS and supported that religion actively. But it was never something that I really realized had such an impact on our lives. Now that Jake and I have started going back to Church together, you really do notice the little things that start to work out in your favor. I am so grateful for the people in my life, my grandparents on both sides, Mike and Brenda, and Jake's family, for the tremendous faith they have in our Lord. I cannot wait to make it to the Temple with Jake and be able to seal our life for time and eternity. It is a goal that I now know is very reachable.
10 months ago