Well today turned out alot different than what we had planned for. Or I guess we should say, yesterday, since it is one in the morning on Sunday. Around two on Saturday my side pain came back worse than I had felt it since it started. It was horrible, I have never been through child birth but I have heard from more than one person that kidney stones is worse. Man, I believe it. The immediately put me on some doritol, which is a little bit stronger than morphine. It worked instantly and felt amazing. But just like with the other narcotics, it made me itch like crazy. So to counter act that, she gave me some toridal, I was allergic to that. So lets go ahead and times the itch by like ten. haha. It was so funny. Mina, Jaymi, mu mom and Kallie had came up to bring that shock therapy thing and I didnt realize how much I had been itching while they were there. I would so much rather be itching than feel like someone is stabbing me. Around like 7 pm, the doc came in and said that he was going to send me home and if I had to come back again, they were going to keep me and surgery was going to be the next resort. I was already feeling the pain meds wearring off and the pill form ones that he sent me home with make me sick so I cant keep them down. I asked him if it would be a pain just to go ahead and admit me so that they could keep my pain down. If I'm not hurting then I'm not straining my urethra muscles, which allows the stone to continue to move. He went ahead and admitted me and gave me some more dorital ( I think thats what its called.) Or dilantin... ??? It helped me sleep for a little while, it is now around 1:15 in the morning on Sunday. I woke up with a little pain which means the meds are wearring off. But thats good. The last time that they gave me pain med through my iv was at 9:30.... longest that I have gone. Maybe that means that the stone has FINALLY gone into my bladder, and from there its supposed to be painless. I just hope that none of the others start to move on me. Travis sent some more texts today while I was out of it, so I have not read them yet on Ari's updated condition. Once again for my memory I am going to put them on here: Dear Family, as we all know Arianna's sickness has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, good health for a couple of days and then an unexpected devasting collapse. Most of it has had to do with her condition of diabetes insipidus, causing sodium levels to rise and fall and dehydration to take place in a matter of minutes. Thus causing convulsions and minor comas to over take her physical body. She has also experienced a large amount of pain this last week. Pain that oxycodone and morphine had challenges to alleviate from her body. The doctors dont know exactly where the pain came from and if it will return. Her blood levels have also been very weak requiring blood transfusions. The most consistent symptom has been a fever on a daily basis. Sometimes, two and three times a day, but never with fault at least once a day. The hope is that she has some type of viral that is causing these symptoms. However, they have done and ran test after test this week and are not finding any type of virus or infection. So there is a belief that it is the LCH that is causing it. It is very important we find out, according to the oncology doctor if it is the LCH we must aggressively change what we are doing . Because it is not enough and she will rapidly decline and with studies in the past of similar situations, they were not favorable. (Translate for yourself.) Unfortunately, if it is the LCH that is causing all of these symptoms, fever and pain, the road ahead will be very, very challenging. So... they are going to start all of the tests, surgeries, biopsy, catscan, x ray etc. There are many and they are painful and discomforting. Mom, Jaymi, Lori, Jake and Amber know, they witnessed and helped with many of them. If it is the LCH that is causing it, the therapy will be mjuch more aggressive, the chemo will be more potent causing more risky and painful side effects. (She's already a radiation bomb ready to go off.) According to the doctor at this point because she is into her 6th week of chemotherapy treatment, she should not be experiencing these symptoms, if she is in remission. Unfortunately, with the chronic illness of LCH, if a patient doesnt enter into remission soon the chances of survival are less likely. Now on the other hand we are hoping that it is a virus or infection, it is is we get to continue with antibiotics and intensive care, she should be just fine, figuratively speaking. According to science and medicine, in my opinion the diagnosis is pointing to LCH. But that's not what we want. Haley and I are going to start a fast, I'm not sure what to fast for, my first thought was to fast that she has an infection or virus (never thought I would fast for that reason.) So if anyone has an inspirational intuition please share. I also think it would be great to fast for Amber and her situation (no not because of her marriage to Jake...) her kidney stones that she is passing. This situation reminds me of tough man tournaments. You know you have to step into that ring and fight, but you dont who its going to be, the 6'6" 250 pounder with years of fighting experience or the 150 pounder that all of his friends convinced him he actually had a chance. So yes, I am fearful of who our opponent is, I feel like I'm sitting in the locker room waiting for my opponents name to be drawn. I guess this is a moment in life you hope that you've trained well for. As I'm sitting here typing this into my phone I am wondering if I am prepared to fight the 6'6" opponent. Is my faith, patience, charity, belief and hope sufficient? Have I honored my Priesthood, am I worthy to commune on a divine level? What do I know about the Atonement, can I access it on a level sufficient to help Arianna bare what may be ahead of her? Is my relationship with God and Christ enough to call upon the powers of Heaven for comfort and support for Arianna to endure what challenge may come. However, my mond can not rest from the thought of, if Arianna does not make it, was I as her father, prepared spiritually, physically, emotionally and intellectually enough to do all I could to help her? And did I give her the love and care that she needed while she lived her short two years on this earth? I guess those are good questions, regardless of Arianna's situation, questions I should ask myself about Haley, Kaley, Taylor and Laney. And all of the people that I love. Once again, I am amazed at him. He is such an inspiring person. Even with the terrifying road that lies ahead of them as a family, he took the time to mention my situation. Which compared to theirs, is tiny. I hope that they soon will be able to see the light at the end of their tunnel. I cant help but to think of them throughout the whole day everday. My heart also goes out to Vicki, of whom I heard, Jayden is not doing well. She is such a strong person as well. I dont know how she is blessed with the patience that she has. Patience is definitely a virtue that she was blessed with. She will be up here again in Utah the first week in November, I hope that during that trip she will be able to find something useful out and be able to get some treatment for Jayden that works better than what she is on now. I am so thankful for being able to watch these spiritually strong people and be able to admire their strength, physical and spiritual. Well my dumb heart rate machine wont stop this stupid beeping, I am sitting in the hospital trying to do by blog and I dont know what the problem is. I just got dizzy and really warm, so I am going to have to finish this later. Thanks all you guys for your example and support.
So the crampy pains that I have been having for the past couple weeks have been the onset of kidney stones. I woke up Thursday night with the worst pain that I have ever experienced, even worse than when my gallbladder went bad. I know, how healthy am I? Jake made me go into the emergency room that night and they immediately diagnosed kidney stones. They gave me some morphine in my IV that didnt even touch the discomfort. So she gave me a little bit more along with something that would make me sleep. It felt so good! I went home and slept until about 11. I really thought that the pain was gone and that I was through. But.... as soon as I took my pain pills that he prescribed me, I started vomiting them back up. We ended up back in the er last night for the same thing. They did a ct scan and that verified that I did have a kidney stone that was almost to my bladder, but.... there are several more in both kidneys that could start moving. Oh no!! And on top of that, I have a cyston one of my ovaries. The pain pills dont seem to stop the pain like the morphine did last night. So I am going to have to lock down and try Donna's magic remedy. You have to drink 72 ounces of coke in two hours and then blend a can of asparagus and drink that at the end. She said that Corey's brother gets kidney stones frequently and does this everytime and it helps. I would describe the pain as when it feels like you have air in your stomach and its hurts for just a second and then it goes away... except for this pain doesnt just go away. It stays... I hope that I am nearly to the end and that the others dont start moving. The pain pills that he has me taking make me itch like crazy, all over. Its driving me nuts. You feel like you have little ants covering your whole body. Especially my face. Jake has been so cute. He brought me home some sunflowers, a little panda bear holding some grenades, and a card that says: He came home from work early yesterday with these things. I am so glad that he did. It was nice to have the company. He is a way sweet guy. I love him! Well today, we are going to go spend some time with Trav, Haley and Ari at the hospital and then later tonight I am going to a Witches Night Out with my sister. Halloween is by far my most fave holiday! I will definitely post some pictures from that. It will be a blast!
Today I was at work when I started to get some texts from Travis. They were so unbelievably touching. Together, him and Haley have some of the most tremendous strength that I have ever witnessed. Jake and I have spent alot of time with them at Primary Childrens and there never failing optimism is amazing. I am doing this blog mostly for a journal for myself, so for my memory I am going to post his texts on here. So that whenever I think that I am going through a trial I can read it and know that I will probably never have to go through what they are. Family, I have to admit as of yesterday I am feeling the challenge of Ari's condition. I thought I was a super hero, numb to the situation. But the endless physical torture that she endures everyday has pierced my heart to a point of almost bitterness towards faith and the Atonement. But I know better than to go there. I do know that what is happening is in God's control, I just don't agree with it. I would rather that she moves on into the next estate as to have to continue enduring such excruciating pain. Pain that a grown man would fear, a pain you would only wish upon an evil enemy. I wonder if this financial challenge and Ari's challenge is for what purpose? I often ponder searching for an answer but find myself confused and question the power of God. But then I step back and realize that these experiences are for my own good and I realize that I have learned so much from them. My relationship with my wife and kids have grown, my gratitude for life and health have increased, my love for family and appreciation for those relationships have deeply awakened a better understanding of God's plan. I then realize that these experiences are a great blessing from God and I feel privileged for the opportunity that he has allowed me to take part of them. I anxiously gather everything I feel like I have learned and with a joyful and grateful attitude I try to go back out there and make the best of the situation, knowing with no doubt that God knows and understands and I find comfort that God is in charge orchestrating such a divine occasion. I then feel embarrassed for doubting the power of God and the Atonement. I then realize my role is simple. Its the basics, have charity, have faith, have a good attitude, continue to learn, continue to be grateful, and most important, endure the trial and never give up hope. Dad, I really want to thank you for you and all you're doing to help with such a business disaster right now. You're handling matters that make me cringe, I am so grateful for you and you may or may not know how much you're helping me right now. Mom, thank you for the many endless nights of support and the miles that we physically put in together in the beginning of Ari's journey. And thank you for supporting Dad with the business challenges we have right now. Donna, thank you so much for taking care of our kids and getting them in school. I wish we would have left them in, but I guess... What do they say about hindsight? Liz, thank you for the blog, it has allowed a lot of people to remain updated. You not only have kept them updated but with your gift of writing, you've allowed it to be inspirational and entertaining. Vicki, thank you for your example of positivity and endurance. You've always demonstrated those two attributes our whole lives. (despite your text results.) You've always been an example to me of being positive and never giving up. Bobbi, thank you for your support, even showing up at the hospital and noone is there.. Lol. Thank you for taking the kids, coming and getting them from Alta emergency room and for caring for them like their own mother. Jaymi, thank you for the many endless nights at the hospital. For all the many trips you have made to haul kids. Taylor, thank you for being you. I dont know if you know but Ari's in the hospital. Lol. (When the freak did we get ice cream?) Thank you Taylor for letting me tease and make fun of you! Brian, thank you for your silent support, when I speak with you I feel such a love and concern not only for Ari, but for me and Haley as well. Jake, thank you for many endless nights at the hospital. Of so much support sleeping on couches and always physically being here for support. Amber, thank you for so many dinners you have brought, your food is so good. Your support to Haley has been very helpful. You've always just shown up out of the blue just waiting to see if there is anything you can help with. Kim, thank you for dressing up Kaylor and sending us pictures of her, she is beautiful. Lori, thank you so much for all you have done. There is no doubt that if there is anyone that Haley and I can rely on to receive any kind of help from, it would be you. You're so non judgmental and you're endlessly supportive of anything we do, willing to endure with a humble and grateful attitude. I am also grateful for the strength that Haley gets from you. Haley, I dont have words to express my gratitude for you. Your example of faith and humility are not human. You never give up, you're always grateful. I am so impressed by the way you're in tuned to what Arianna needs medically and emotionally. The way you took charge the other day when Arianna was vomiting and having convulsions. You gave orders to the doctors and it was your motherly intuition that saved Arianna. I find it very important to give gratitude to people and God. I feel like when I recognize my blessings and give thanks for them, for some reason burdens are alleviated. How inspirational and touching are those words? He shows an unreal amount of Faith and trust in Heavenly Father. I did not grow up in the Church. Of course, I always had family that was LDS and supported that religion actively. But it was never something that I really realized had such an impact on our lives. Now that Jake and I have started going back to Church together, you really do notice the little things that start to work out in your favor. I am so grateful for the people in my life, my grandparents on both sides, Mike and Brenda, and Jake's family, for the tremendous faith they have in our Lord. I cannot wait to make it to the Temple with Jake and be able to seal our life for time and eternity. It is a goal that I now know is very reachable.
Today was my last day off.... I had a doctors appointment this morning because I have been having cramps in my abdomen for the past week and I finally broke down and went in. They are running a blood test to make sure that it is not pregnancy and if that comes out negative then they are going to see if it is endometriosis. We'll see what goes from there.... After my appointment I went down to my grandma Coates' house to visit with them. I just spent the day catching up with them and spending time with them before they leave for Arizona in the next few weeks. My grandpa has been having some circulatory problems in his legs and is going in to have an angioplasty and angiogram on October 19. Brenda brought Cooper, Maasen and Eli over to hang out for a bit. It was nice getting to see them, I never get to. They are such fun little kids. Cooper is sitting next to me telling me that he needs to sit in my chair and play the games on Grandma's computer. He needs me to move. Ha ha. He is a cutey. I will let him have his turn now.
I forgot that I had one of these, so I am going to start using it because Vicki's book was so cute and easy. Lately Jake and I havent really been up to much. Just working and spending time with Travis, Haley and Ari and Primary Childrens. Its been such an emotional roller coaster and we are not even her parents. But watching them have to go through such a hard trial in their life has been really hard. All we can do is be there for them, which we have been trying to do. They have such an amazing spirit about them. Its unreal to see their Faith and Strength in the Gospel. They are such an inspiration to me and how I want to be when we get the opportunity to have the Temple promises in our lives. Jake started working at Discover Card and he really seems to like it. Now, its not working with Travis, where they could have fun time and social hours all day :-) but its a job and it pays pretty good. We are currently staying at my dads house in West Jordan. He is alone here so he had the room and that was a blessing because of all of our money getting stolen at the wedding, which was our apartment money. Living here really isnt that bad. It is going to help us get some sort of savings started since we dont have rent. We have started going to Church and already we are starting to notice the small things that have come around. Things just seem to go alot smoother. I hope that I can keep up with this often enough that it will be worth making a book at the end. Keeping up with everyone elses is a lot of fun. I really enjoy it.....
