Well today turned out alot different than what we had planned for. Or I guess we should say, yesterday, since it is one in the morning on Sunday. Around two on Saturday my side pain came back worse than I had felt it since it started. It was horrible, I have never been through child birth but I have heard from more than one person that kidney stones is worse. Man, I believe it. The immediately put me on some doritol, which is a little bit stronger than morphine. It worked instantly and felt amazing. But just like with the other narcotics, it made me itch like crazy. So to counter act that, she gave me some toridal, I was allergic to that. So lets go ahead and times the itch by like ten. haha. It was so funny. Mina, Jaymi, mu mom and Kallie had came up to bring that shock therapy thing and I didnt realize how much I had been itching while they were there. I would so much rather be itching than feel like someone is stabbing me.
Around like 7 pm, the doc came in and said that he was going to send me home and if I had to come back again, they were going to keep me and surgery was going to be the next resort. I was already feeling the pain meds wearring off and the pill form ones that he sent me home with make me sick so I cant keep them down. I asked him if it would be a pain just to go ahead and admit me so that they could keep my pain down. If I'm not hurting then I'm not straining my urethra muscles, which allows the stone to continue to move. He went ahead and admitted me and gave me some more dorital ( I think thats what its called.) Or dilantin... ??? It helped me sleep for a little while, it is now around 1:15 in the morning on Sunday. I woke up with a little pain which means the meds are wearring off. But thats good. The last time that they gave me pain med through my iv was at 9:30.... longest that I have gone. Maybe that means that the stone has FINALLY gone into my bladder, and from there its supposed to be painless. I just hope that none of the others start to move on me.
Travis sent some more texts today while I was out of it, so I have not read them yet on Ari's updated condition. Once again for my memory I am going to put them on here:
Dear Family, as we all know Arianna's sickness has been a roller coaster of ups and downs, good health for a couple of days and then an unexpected devasting collapse. Most of it has had to do with her condition of diabetes insipidus, causing sodium levels to rise and fall and dehydration to take place in a matter of minutes. Thus causing convulsions and minor comas to over take her physical body. She has also experienced a large amount of pain this last week. Pain that oxycodone and morphine had challenges to alleviate from her body. The doctors dont know exactly where the pain came from and if it will return. Her blood levels have also been very weak requiring blood transfusions. The most consistent symptom has been a fever on a daily basis. Sometimes, two and three times a day, but never with fault at least once a day. The hope is that she has some type of viral that is causing these symptoms. However, they have done and ran test after test this week and are not finding any type of virus or infection. So there is a belief that it is the LCH that is causing it. It is very important we find out, according to the oncology doctor if it is the LCH we must aggressively change what we are doing . Because it is not enough and she will rapidly decline and with studies in the past of similar situations, they were not favorable. (Translate for yourself.) Unfortunately, if it is the LCH that is causing all of these symptoms, fever and pain, the road ahead will be very, very challenging. So... they are going to start all of the tests, surgeries, biopsy, catscan, x ray etc. There are many and they are painful and discomforting. Mom, Jaymi, Lori, Jake and Amber know, they witnessed and helped with many of them. If it is the LCH that is causing it, the therapy will be mjuch more aggressive, the chemo will be more potent causing more risky and painful side effects. (She's already a radiation bomb ready to go off.) According to the doctor at this point because she is into her 6th week of chemotherapy treatment, she should not be experiencing these symptoms, if she is in remission. Unfortunately, with the chronic illness of LCH, if a patient doesnt enter into remission soon the chances of survival are less likely. Now on the other hand we are hoping that it is a virus or infection, it is is we get to continue with antibiotics and intensive care, she should be just fine, figuratively speaking. According to science and medicine, in my opinion the diagnosis is pointing to LCH. But that's not what we want. Haley and I are going to start a fast, I'm not sure what to fast for, my first thought was to fast that she has an infection or virus (never thought I would fast for that reason.) So if anyone has an inspirational intuition please share. I also think it would be great to fast for Amber and her situation (no not because of her marriage to Jake...) her kidney stones that she is passing. This situation reminds me of tough man tournaments. You know you have to step into that ring and fight, but you dont who its going to be, the 6'6" 250 pounder with years of fighting experience or the 150 pounder that all of his friends convinced him he actually had a chance. So yes, I am fearful of who our opponent is, I feel like I'm sitting in the locker room waiting for my opponents name to be drawn. I guess this is a moment in life you hope that you've trained well for. As I'm sitting here typing this into my phone I am wondering if I am prepared to fight the 6'6" opponent. Is my faith, patience, charity, belief and hope sufficient? Have I honored my Priesthood, am I worthy to commune on a divine level? What do I know about the Atonement, can I access it on a level sufficient to help Arianna bare what may be ahead of her? Is my relationship with God and Christ enough to call upon the powers of Heaven for comfort and support for Arianna to endure what challenge may come. However, my mond can not rest from the thought of, if Arianna does not make it, was I as her father, prepared spiritually, physically, emotionally and intellectually enough to do all I could to help her? And did I give her the love and care that she needed while she lived her short two years on this earth? I guess those are good questions, regardless of Arianna's situation, questions I should ask myself about Haley, Kaley, Taylor and Laney. And all of the people that I love.
Once again, I am amazed at him. He is such an inspiring person. Even with the terrifying road that lies ahead of them as a family, he took the time to mention my situation. Which compared to theirs, is tiny. I hope that they soon will be able to see the light at the end of their tunnel. I cant help but to think of them throughout the whole day everday. My heart also goes out to Vicki, of whom I heard, Jayden is not doing well. She is such a strong person as well. I dont know how she is blessed with the patience that she has. Patience is definitely a virtue that she was blessed with. She will be up here again in Utah the first week in November, I hope that during that trip she will be able to find something useful out and be able to get some treatment for Jayden that works better than what she is on now.
I am so thankful for being able to watch these spiritually strong people and be able to admire their strength, physical and spiritual.
Well my dumb heart rate machine wont stop this stupid beeping, I am sitting in the hospital trying to do by blog and I dont know what the problem is. I just got dizzy and really warm, so I am going to have to finish this later.
Thanks all you guys for your example and support.
The Final Year
7 months ago
1 comment:
I had no idea that you had all this going on. I hope you are feeling better!! I miss you guys.
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